An update...finally!

Jun 30, 2008 at 3:02 PM
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An update...finally! Life with 2 kids is certainly a challenge...not much time to blog these days let alone catch up with anyone on the phone. I've been going to a parenting class with Eliana once a week since Eliana was a month old and the instructor frequently asks us what we have been doing to pamper ourselves (aka “me” time). Ah ha ha...that question still makes me laugh. It's all good though. The kids will be grown up before I know it and I'll miss the days of walking around with one kid on the boob and the other wrapped around my leg.

First an update on Eliana who turned 4 in June. Eliana is now a doting big sister. I am thrilled that she loves her little brother so much but some times it is a little too much. She smothers him on occasion and needs to be reminded of how to keep him safe. She can big a little bossy in her big sister role saying things to me like “He doesn't need to nurse right now, put him down.” “I get to choose his outfits, not you.” etc. etc. Don't get me wrong, I would much rather have her be over attentive than under. I think that the age difference worked out well for our family though I know that Eliana might become frustrated over time in how long it will take him to become an actual playmate.

Having Kovi has made Eliana extra needy which has been a challenge for me with how little energy I have these days from sleep deprivation. We are all glad that it is summer and we have Marty around to help out a lot more.

Eliana has had a major growth spurt between ages 3 and 4 and doesn't seem to small anymore compared to her friends. Her intelligence and random information retention continues to blow us away on a daily basis. We have never babied her with talk so she tends to reiterate things that we say back to us in conversation which cracks us up. Things like “Daddy, your son's umbilical cord fell off last night.” “Mommy, do you want to know more about Barney and friends? Go to www.pbskids.org” or my personal favorite, “ok, ok! You don't have to treat me like a criminal!, which came from a book. (when I asked her to go to the bathroom 3 times).

Eliana is no longer co-sleeping with us. When Kovi came along it was just too much of an interruption to her sleep so it was a good excuse to get her in her own room. It is still a little bit of a struggle but she handled the transition pretty well. I would say that the biggest issue we are now dealing with is how early she wakes up. We finally had to tape the last 2 numbers on her clock and tell her that she couldn't come get us in our room (unless of course she really needed us) until she saw a 7 on the clock (even though half the time Kovi is already up). So instead of that being her cue to go back to sleep, she nows pulls the clock into bed with her and stares and stares at it- willing it to change. When that magic doesn't work, she'll often walk into the guest room and do the same. Then she starts to get pissed off thinking all of the clocks are broken. This is the morning drama...just about every morning.

An update on the daycare drama (read through the January post if you don't know what I'm talking about). We waited it out for close to 6 months because everybody was positive that the DA would drop charges because of the insanity of the whole case (especially since her daughter has admitted to several people including teachers that the whole thing was made up and since her ex has filed for full custody it has become apparent to anyone with a brain (except for the psycho DA who apparently has none) that this was just a really ugly ploy for the ex to get custody (not that he has every paid child support anyway). So long story short, with the trial not being until mid July, we just felt that for Eliana's well being we couldn't wait any longer. Having Eliana not in any kind of daycare while Kovi was a newborn was beyond difficult because she was longing for playmates and I was still trying to figure out how to even grocery shop with 2 kids so playdates weren't high on my priority list. So after a few weeks of the yet again agonizing screening and interviewing of new daycares we finally found one for her to resume care 2 days a week. This gives her some social time away from me (which is crucial for her shyness) and gives me some alone time with Kovi which I feel he deserves too. I like the new daycare, but don't love it so we'll see how it goes. Nobody will ever take care of your kids like you do so there are things you just have to let go.

Now an update on Kovi who is 4 months old now. Since Eliana was born early I was sure that Kovi would be too but apparently that wasn't his plan. At 38 weeks I was miserable and determined to get that kid out of my body. I tried everything in the book and nothing worked: stripped membranes, spicy food, sex, walking and castor oil which for the record I would never never wish on my worst enemy. Just ask my mom who witnessed the ingestion of it as well as the...how shall I put it...output of it for the rest of the afternoon. So I therefore begged my midwife to induce me at 39 weeks. 39 weeks put me on a Saturday and the midwife on call said that normally they wouldn't do a “social induction” (I didn't appreciate that term at the time) on a weekend but inductions normally go fast so she would. Good thing she didn't know I labored with Eliana for 40 hours or she would have said no. I started on pitocin at 7 a.m. And Kovi wasn't born until 2:30 a.m. the next day. I was really pissed off at all of the ladies who told me how quick the second child's birth would be. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I had 3 epidurals b/c they kept wearing off or moving around so there was a considerable amount more pain involved with this birth. It was a classic t.v. Birth with all of the screaming etc. I never thought I would be that vocal but holy shit did it hurt. They heard me at the nurses station...embarrasing. Kudos to any woman who does it completely drug free. In my defense he did come out with his head turned to the side and for added fun, his arm out as well (elbow out to his side). Anyway, there he was...all 10 fingers and 10 toes...a bunch of hair and as perfect as could be....until....the colic started to set in. In all fairness, Kovi didn't have a full blown case of colic but he was definitely borderline.

The first 8 weeks were really hard. Kovi had very little happy awake time and on top of that was having a hard time nursing. I was stressed because it made bonding with him very difficult. I also had some other serious stuff going on in my life (keep reading) so for the first time I was experiencing post partum depression. However, at about 9 weeks old, his tummy started feeling better and it was literally as if he woke up one day and said “oh yeah, this is where I'm supposed to be...hey great to be here! I'll be here all week...don't forget to tip your waitress...bah dah bing.” He is a completely different little guy now. He is so sweet and smiley, incredibly engaging and aware and has superman strength. He was holding his head up at 2 days old. I have to warn people who have never held him before because they almost drop him with his strong wiggliness. He tries to sit up by himself after nursing. It's hilarious. He is in love with his sister- even when she is trying to sit on him. It's almost as if he know that he'll get even when he is bigger. His main goal in life right now is to turn over. He doesn't like it when he is on his tummy but that doesn't seem to stop him from doing it 24-7. Diapering has already become a challenge for that reason. He is growing much quicker than his sister and has been right around the middle of the growth charts. Being short people we know that we won't raise giants but we are pleased to see that their growth is normal. Kovi also started sucking his thumb last month and is really good at it. It seems to be his favorite past time. So now we have 2 major thumb suckers in the family- must run in the genes. We took Kovi to his first concert over the weekend- Indigo Girls. He did amazingly well and seemed to enjoy it refusing to go to sleep. Didn't make a peep, until 10:30 when we got in the car and then he unleashed the fury on us for the entire ride home. Earplugs would have been nice...and a box of tissues for me. I hate it when my babies cry and I can't help them. Last but not least, for those of you who are keeping count (oh wait, that's just me) I have only been peed on 6 times...Marty has been peed on 19 times. Good times.

A sleep update which has always been an issue in our house. If you'll recall Eliana didn't sleep more than 1.5 hours at a time until she was 23 months old. Kovi is doing way better than her with his first sleep stretch usually being between 2-4 hours but then it is between 1-2 hours thereafter. We usually miss the better part of the first sleep stretch since he is ready for bed so early. So while we won't complain because we know first hand how much worse it can be, we still think we earn the right to bitch and moan on occasion.

On the allergy front, fingers crossed he may okay. Since I stopped nursing Eliana I have reintroduced wheat and some cow's milk back into my diet and of course all of the things that she was originally allergic to (that she can now tolerate) such as tomato, broccoli, beans etc. are all back in my diet as well and he doesn't seem to have a problem with it. A food that I rarely eat is egg (which E is allergic to) and have not eaten is nuts (we have a nut free house for E) so he could have issues with those and I just won't know for now. I took probiotics throughout pregnancy and continue to which he gets through my breast milk and there are some studies that show that might have a bit of an effect so we'll see. Wish us luck.

An update on me and Marty. I am taking a year off of work again so that I can spend that first year with Kovi like I did with Eliana and I couldn't be happier with that decision. I recently made the decision to temporarily shut off my jewelry website because I just don't have the time needed to promote it and keep sales coming in and I couldn't justify the cost of maintaining it. I would still like to do some home parties and shows in the fall (and by all means, if you want some jewelry for gifts etc. let me know and I'll email you pics) but for right now it just isn't happening.

Marty finished school a few weeks ago and is now doing summer school a couple of days a week. He made the decision to teach an advanced placement government class next year so he is spending a lot of time over the summer (including all last week at a seminar) preparing for that. Because he knows that teaching yet another new prep (especially this one) will take up so much time during the year, he decided (on his own...I swear I had nothing to do with this decision!) to give up coaching next year. He will still be involved but just not to the same extent.

Marty's daughter Parke will turn 14 in September...crazy huh? She is competing in gymnastics as always and is nearing competing at level 8 in the fall (level 10 is the highest) The family finally was able to see Parke compete in a meet in the spring at the St. Louis Convention Center. She won several first places in individual events and claimed first in the all-around. When interviewed, she proudly stated that “There was no competition.” What confidence!! We are proud of you for working so hard to achieve your goals. May you work that hard and carry that attitude into everything you do. Parke will be a freshman in high school and has been busy preparing for it by accumulating a total of 160 friends on Facebook. WOW!! She is so popular!!!,Nothing to worry about!! (yes Parke, we are being sarcastic) We are looking forward to her coming out at the end of July for a visit and to have her meet her newest little brother.

So on to the big news...for those of you who don't know, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few days after leaving from her visit here after Kovi was born. Of course when we heard breast cancer we all feared the worst- I mean who doesn't? Especially since I already lost my dad it seemed all too easy to immediately take my brain down that direct path. Of course, it also doesn't help that between all of the tests and procedures (mammographies, cat scans, lumpectomy) and what seems like forever in waiting for pathology results it's hard to keep a positive attitude when you have wait so long for answers. However, I am really pleased to relay that mom is doing fine and God willing will continue to be okay in the future. As it turns out, she has an estrogen related breast cancer which also happened to be slow growing. When they caught it, it had not yet spread into the lymph nodes or metastasized anywhere other than in the initial tumor. She opted for a lumpectomy instead of a full mastectomy and is now undergoing radiation every day for 7 weeks. We feel really lucky that she doesn't have to undergo chemo. Radiation is taking it's toll on her energy level but she seems to be keeping her spirits up. She also was able to get a test to see if she carried a gene that if positive, would mean that cancer would most likely occur again and that she would probably need to voluntarily have a double mastectomy as well as have her ovaries removed. It would also mean that I would need to do the same because my chances of having the cancer in the future would be inevitable. Fortunately, she tested negative which helped us all breathe a little easier. It is hard for me to be so far away from her now and not be able to help care for her but these are the curve balls that life throws at us sometimes. If you are friends with my mom and haven't spoken to her in awhile, I know that she would love to hear from you. Also, if there is anyone out there with extra time on their hands that would love to cook her a meal, I know that she wouldn't pass it up. (I'm sorry mom...I know you'll kill me for writing that but you are tired...accept the kindness of friends!...I refuse to take that off of my post!)

Keep my mom in your thoughts and pray for a full recovery for her.

Ok, now I have to go b/c I can't believe I found the time to write such a long post! Now quit yer bitchin'...you are all caught up. It will be awhile before I write again (though I'll try to be better about putting pictures up).

I hope that life is treating you all well. Although exhausted, I am very happy with where I am at in my life right now. Trying to enjoy life with the little ones because before you know it I'll be worried about paying for college (and braces for the thumb suckers) ...oh wait...I'm already doing that.

Last but not least...quotes from Eliana:

“My vagina says I don't have to go.” (when told to go potty)
“Will there be fireworks for Passover?”
“Mommy, you look agitated.”
“The kitty scampered off.” (to which I replied “nice vocabulary!” to which she replied “I've got a brain in my head.”
“Because I get noxious in the car.” (her reply when I asked her if she wanted to read a book in the car)
“Daddy, your penis is hairy.” (a getting dressed observation. I know...so inappropriate to post but too funny not too)
“Unbelievable. We are hitting every read light!!”